Desertion
by Wolfemann
Summary: After the war, Freya is forced to make a choice she never expected - the love of her life, or her duty as a Dragon Knight. (FreyaFratley) EDIT Might end up being a sequel to Of Mice and Men... not sure how that'll end up yet, but we'll see....


Desertion By: Wolfemann  
  
Disclaimers: If you think I own these characters, or am making any money for writing this, you are sadly mistaken. I wish I could claim the first so that the second would be true, but.. Ah, well.  
  
Feedback: Please! I like feedback. And, on top of that, I will do my best to respond to any feedback I'm given, if an email addy is provided - personal policy.  
  
~~~===~~~  
  
Would I lie to you?  
  
Could I lie to you?  
  
I look at you, sleeping next to me, and I can't bring myself to do it. I can't tell you that I'll be there in the morning, can't tell you that I won't leave you, the way you left me so long ago. As much as I want to, I can't do it.  
  
I spent five years of my life searching for you - chasing after rumors, praying that you'd be in the next town when I reached it, but always discovering that you'd moved on a month, a week, a day, sometimes only a few hours before I'd arrived. And I could never catch up with you before you were gone again.  
  
I wrap my arms around my body tightly, holding myself the way you held me earlier tonight, trying to make up my mind. Why tonight? Why did I have to let you talk first, instead of telling you about Zidane and Dagger? I look over at the letter they sent, telling me about what was happening.  
  
"Need your help badly - Black Mage Village under attack." It was really a miracle that I ran into Atla in the square earlier, he was about to go crazy trying to find me. I came running up here, trying to find you, to tell you I had to leave in the morning, just as soon as Mene and Choco were here to pick me up..  
  
And you proposed to me before I had the chance. My heart soared for a moment, but then reality set in.  
  
How could I tell you I was leaving, possibly forever, after that? Ever since Necron was defeated, and I'd come back to what was left of Burmecia, I'd wanted to hear you say those few words. Prove to me that being faithful to you, even after you'd forgotten me, was worth it. Our time together since then helped, but a part of me has always wanted us to have what we had before you left.  
  
And when you said them, when you gave me what I've wanted, a chance to go back. what did I do? I asked you for a little more time.  
  
I'm sorry, Fratley - but I was too scared to make up my mind then and there, when I had to. Too scared that I'd lose you for my decision - or maybe just scared that I'd choose you over them.over my duty.  
  
Gaia's tears, but it hurts to have to choose between you. My friends, counting on me to come and help them defend the innocent against a foe I don't know? Or stay here with you, and my people, fight a battle that I know can be won - and have everything I've ever really wanted handed to me.  
  
No, not everything I've ever wanted. Nothing ever comes free, especially not life-long dreams. And the cost is just too high. I can't do it - can't give up the honor we both share, our devotion to the code we swore to follow as Dragon Knights. If you could see the tears streaming down my face, maybe you'd understand a fraction of the pain I feel as I remove the gold band you gave me earlier tonight, and put it on the nightstand beside you. I'm so sorry, Fratley, but I have to go to them.  
  
I shouldn't have strung you along for even the last few hours - I knew I couldn't choose you over them, love over duty. It's not in either of us to make that choice, and I'd have hated myself forever if I had.  
  
All I can ask is that you not hate me for not making it - because all my heart wishes that I could.  
  
Goodbye, Fratley - I hope you can forgive me, someday. I'll try to come back to you, but I don't know that I could keep that promise if I made it.  
  
Just remember - I'll always love you.  
  
Forever yours, Freya Crescent  
  
Freya put the letter down, lifting up the heavy ring she'd put on the nightstand before, using it to weight the letter so that her lover would be sure to see it when he woke up. She pulled on the clothes that she had put out for the next day - her traveling clothes, she realized a little bitterly. Even then, she'd really known what she would decide. She just hadn't had the guts to tell him, not face to face.  
  
Not the way he'd told her, before he'd left those long years ago.  
  
She leaned over to kiss him gently, watching as he smiled in his sleep. Then, she walked over to the door, picked up her lance, and started down the stairs to the ground level. Mene and Choco would be there in an hour at most, from what Atla had said before. She'd already taken more time than she probably should have, trying to explain how she felt in her parting letter. But how do you explain breaking your own heart?  
  
Cold rain fell on Burmecia the way it always had, and likely always would, its heavy skies mirroring the heart of its prodigal daughter as she walked through the massive gates, in the direction she thought her friends would be coming from.  
  
This time, though, she wasn't sure if she'd be coming back. 


End file.
